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воскресенье, 30 декабря 2012 г.

Wrong time for NY party

It's already 30.12 and I have no new year mood. Okay, it's okay. Really, no one has mood for celebrating. I've decorated my bed with shining lights and helped my mom with decorating new year tree. These are everything I did to attract mood, but it was worth.
Maybe I shouldn't be so naive about miracles. But I do think that everybody should be waiting for some magic this time. I suppose this NY will be well, not great. And let it be
Maybe later i'll find reasons for smile and happiness
I wish I could bear all my depression and enjoy the NY but unfortunately I can do nothing
It's wrong time for these minds. Wrong. Definitely wrong

четверг, 20 декабря 2012 г.

Unpredictable Final

Okay guys. Today I definetly have nothing to say. 'Coz my mind left me approximately 8 days ago and no one have noticed this till now.
Now I feel inspiration and everything what surround me are so transformed. Anyway I'd like to say something important to you.. I want to see Saint Petersburg at night, when people walk down the street, sweet couples.. And lights. It's everything I need now, just to see this panorama..
If someday I write a book final will be like this. Twilight at big city, lights, cars and someone's eyes and smiles

воскресенье, 16 декабря 2012 г.

Im in mirror-haunted hallway, like in a legend.. breathtaking legend. There are so many dangerous and scary, sometimes we don't even believe that everything will be okay in the end. We are, humans, have doubts and have never mind if our plans are corrected by something slight and fragile. How do everything will be well if it's so bad?
Heroes of these legends were supported by something that is not material. Love, goals or faith. You know, there are kindness in our cruel world. Even it's hidden far away from you, you should know that it is somewhere.

четверг, 13 декабря 2012 г.

My life became better

I haven't wrote for my blog for 3 days.. These days were amazing. I can honestly admit right now that my life became better.. I had a Birthday Party 2 days ago and you know I realized how much i should appreciate my friends, relatives, parents.. And doesn't matter that they rememdered my telephone number only once in  year! My close friend came back to me and i really happy about it, 'coz we haven't got on well for so long. All my relatives called me yesterday and congratulated me, I find it so cute.
If you are dissapointed in your life, as i were 1 month ago, please keep calm and wait for the good times, they definetely will come, i promise
I know its really hard to realize and i haven't believed in this for so long! Every day was like fire bullet right into my weak heart, but i sang an inspirational songs or sometimes "Im titaaniiuuum" was more than enough.
And now, im sitting here in my room with lots of kinder-chocolates.. and I want to support you if you need some help. 'coz when i felt lack of understanding no one noticed it.
My life became better.
And there are no feeling in the world which can compare with this atmosphere. Atmosphere of changes, when everything is okay, i'm sure and want you to know that world is good thing

воскресенье, 9 декабря 2012 г.

Very old and exciting legend


As you know I love to think about life. Nice begining but anyway today I have been thinking about very special think since morning.
I have never been narrow-minded or self confident person, that's why I'm writing here kinde of madness.. wowow, stop! I can't force myself write this post, all the more i have something important to say but i can't describe it in simple words.
If you look back you will notice that your life is like a competition, race. This might be fast and cruel or you are set rules. Someday you will realize that our life is like a magic very old legend. Challenging and exciting... Yes, someday you will understand this. And you will be proud of yourself only because you could give up a thousands times but you didn't it! Coz there was something in your life that worth fighting for.
Love, goals, life... Everybody follow their own passion, sometimes we lose this thing and have no mind how to continue our lifes, but you know.. no you must know that magic is everywhere if you know where to look.
Everywhere you can find something amazing and marvelous, it could be smile or sight.
Forget about shit which surround us every day.
Remember, you living in the very old and exciting legend

пятница, 7 декабря 2012 г.

push into the sky

Really. One more day are over and i'm sitting here all alone staring at the ceiling. So exciting, isn't it?
I have definetely nothing to say, you know.. but no.
No no no, i remembered something important.
Please, people, who read this post right now i'm begging you.. Take care of your friends. They are the best if they are okay after all these times. Appreciate them. You are happiest person - YOU HAVE AN INTERNET! In Africa there are no Internet at all, just starving. Anyway, now i realize that majority of my friends left me on my own fault. But i have no time for bleating and mewoling...  Loneliness are not so bad if you know the person who will share it with you. Nice joke, i know.
I'm not complaining, I'm bold. Hah but such of pain doesn't left me since the middle of November. Appreciate everything you have now, 'coz who knows maybe tomorrow you will be sit in your room enjoying a loneliness and staring at the ceiling

четверг, 6 декабря 2012 г.

То, что я хочу сказать не передать словами

Вот и подходит к концу еще один день в большом городе. Довольно много прекрасных моментов можно найти на улицах и проспектах, если, конечно, знать, где искать.
Вот и я задумалась, как же это прекрасно видеть то, что только ты можешь заметить. Движение, взгляд, нечаянная улыбка...
Все это можно поймать и каким то магическим неизведанным способом это чудо поселится в душе или сознании ( у кого что) и будет греть изнутри. И однажды, возможно, вы вспомните не тех людей, которые с самого рождения с вами рядом, а случайного прохожего, пропустившего вас в метро или маленького ребенка, которому вы показывали язык, идя по улице.
Не знаю как у вас, а я иногда вспоминаю их.
У меня в голове множество лиц, взглядов, движений, людей, улыбок... только я ничего не помню.
Странно иногда получается, как меняется наша жизнь от одного маленького поступка. Увидел в автобусе милейшую пару с ребенком на руках - и жизнь не такая и серая. Затолкнуть свое тело в переполненную маршрутку - далеко не малина, но когда в наушниках заиграет любимая песня, даже в такой жесткой тесноте я буду улыбаться, как городская дурочка, ибо вижу в этом необъяснимую прелесть.
Достаточно просто посмотреть на город и на его жителей с другой стороны.
Ведь огни говорят о многом, и небо зимним вечером совсем другое.
Возможно нет способа познать этот мир, но почувствовать атмосферу этого вечернего города можно всегда.
И кто знает, возможно маленькая тайна откроется вам в этот суетный вечер.
Кто знает.

пятница, 30 ноября 2012 г.

Evening


Came to decide that english grammar put me down down down down... I'm really ill - is this the reason of difficulties? Don't know.
But now I'm sitting in my room with balalaika and unlimited Internet communication. It's enough for awesome  evening I'm sure!
inspiring music encourages me:)
I love the blogs like this, you know. You can write whatever you want and no one won't see this bullshit. Besides friends who good in English. Honestly I'm not going to tell everybody that I have my own blog! Want to tell lots of secrets!
BEWARE! My secrets are not so interesting how usually they are


четверг, 29 ноября 2012 г.

I need to be bold
Need to jump in a cold water


There is no reasons for writing this post, I just heard Joshua Radin`s song. Anyway this is my first one. And I can finally honestly admit without lying and secrets - I cant describe my feelings!
Somebody prefers to write a poems.. Other talanted guys can sing a songs to their beloved or even dance! Someone do nothing when they fell in love. They just watching in the eyes and person understand everything which other can't describe in words. What about me... I said cute phrases, recognitions and my beloved said it to me too. I avoided so "loud words" I prooved my feelings. What about him. He payed no attention at my requests and has continued his polemic about his heart and how much he loves me.
It was really cool to hear from normal guy, but soon I felt suspicion in him. And unfortunately i was right.
Someday he disappeared.
I was so nerveous, if something wrong with him!? But it was worth, he was Ok. Soon he wrote a text to me "You know, I'm tired of relationship like this..:((" Real man!
He has been wrote to me for 1 year! Asked about anything, said that he used to be in a good relations with his ex-girlfriends. So sweet.
Now is the day when he admitted in his passion to me 1 year ago.
It was so long ago! But feels like it happened 2 onths ago. I gave up thinking about him completely, but when handsome guy said to me that I'm cute or he has the hots for me... I suspect, that it's not true, this guy are liar. I'm afraid i will never "Be bold" to trust my heart to random man. I became so sensible! It's ok i know, but when you are 17 its not cool at all! On the one hand i want party hard, on the other hand i remember everything and can't throw it away from my head..
Maybe all the same jump in a cold water?