I need to be bold
Need to jump in a cold water

There is no reasons for writing this post, I just heard Joshua Radin`s song. Anyway this is my first one. And I can finally honestly admit without lying and secrets - I cant describe my feelings!
Somebody prefers to write a poems.. Other talanted guys can sing a songs to their beloved or even dance! Someone do nothing when they fell in love. They just watching in the eyes and person understand everything which other can't describe in words. What about me... I said cute phrases, recognitions and my beloved said it to me too. I avoided so "loud words" I prooved my feelings. What about him. He payed no attention at my requests and has continued his polemic about his heart and how much he loves me.
It was really cool to hear from normal guy, but soon I felt suspicion in him. And unfortunately i was right.
Someday he disappeared.
I was so nerveous, if something wrong with him!? But it was worth, he was Ok. Soon he wrote a text to me "You know, I'm tired of relationship like this..:((" Real man!
He has been wrote to me for 1 year! Asked about anything, said that he used to be in a good relations with his ex-girlfriends. So sweet.
Now is the day when he admitted in his passion to me 1 year ago.
It was so long ago! But feels like it happened 2 onths ago. I gave up thinking about him completely, but when handsome guy said to me that I'm cute or he has the hots for me... I suspect, that it's not true, this guy are liar. I'm afraid i will never "Be bold" to trust my heart to random man. I became so sensible! It's ok i know, but when you are 17 its not cool at all! On the one hand i want party hard, on the other hand i remember everything and can't throw it away from my head..
Maybe all the same jump in a cold water?